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April 20, 2018

Surrogacy in California: Personalized Matching Process

If you’re considering surrogacy in California, rest assured that there are resources available to help you have the best experience possible. Perhaps the most crucial part of the surrogacy process for either party is the matching process. This is the time when potential surrogates meet potential intended parents to determine if the relationship will be a proper fit. Because so many factors play into finding the best match, most intended parents opt to work with experienced surrogacy agencies to ensure a good match is made.

The Matching Process Ensures Your Safety

While not every agency operates like SPS does, our first priority is ensuring that everyone we work with is both mentally and physically prepared for the journey ahead. For intended parents especially, an agency is helpful for eliminating much of the guesswork in finding the best surrogate. Because surrogacy in California is an ever-growing industry, the potential surrogates available can be overwhelming and it’s difficult to know what criteria really matters when searching for the ideal surrogate. Fortunately, using an agency for the matching process is the safest and most reliable way to find the right fit. Of course, quality agencies are with you well after the match is made, but assisting in this initial step is an important safeguard that makes the whole process much smoother.

Personality Makes a Difference

Beyond the initial safety and health concerns, personalized matching processes between surrogate and intended parents are key for establishing genuine relationships. Many agencies consider carefully the personality profiles of each party in order to set up the perfect match. Intended parents are free to note any preferences they may have for their surrogate from the beginning, but an agency can help them go a step further by finding surrogates that also have chemistry with the parents. Intended parents and surrogates who not only get along professionally but on a deeper, more personal level tend to have even more rewarding experiences throughout the surrogacy process.

Another bonus of having a highly personalized match between surrogate and intended parents is the opportunity to continue the relationship even after the child is born. Many surrogates remain close to intended parents long after the process is over because they bonded so deeply over their shared experience. Regardless of a surrogate’s involvement in the child’s life, they may remain a key pillar of support for the parents because they went through a unique journey together. This doesn’t happen for everyone, but more often than not an intimate friendship or familial feeling will develop between parties.

Find Your Perfect Match with SPS

To begin your journey toward surrogacy in California, turn to Surrogate Parenting Services. Knowledgeable professionals at SPS help intended parents find the best surrogate through health screenings, personality evaluations, and in-person meetings to ultimately determine the bond between each party. With this process, SPS is proud of the many successful surrogacy arrangements they have facilitated over the years. Personalized matches are the best way for everyone involved in surrogacy to have the most fulfilling experience. For more information on the surrogacy process, contact SPS at (949) 397-6855 today.


March 29, 2018

Becoming a Surrogate: Finding Your Motivation

Becoming a surrogate is not the same process for everyone. Many people feel motivated to become a surrogate because of personal scenarios, but others may find it as their calling by taking a completely different route. At the end of the day, regardless of the paths that led you to surrogacy, it is an amazing gift to be able to give a child to parents who deserve the opportunity to build a family. This journey is unique to everyone involved. No matter how you get there, embarking on the surrogacy journey can be an incredibly rewarding experience for everyone.

Your Generosity May Be Someone Else’s Miracle

If you have always felt passionate about giving back to others and helping those in need, you may find yourself looking into the surrogacy process. Becoming a surrogate is not the right path everyone, so those who feel drawn to it should consider it carefully. For repeat surrogate Sarah Jones, the urge to continue giving led her to being a surrogate four times after starting her own family. Her article on Independent news shares the details of her journey. After having children of her own and feeling that her fertility was a gift too precious to waste, she began reaching out to see if she could help someone else. Eventually she met the first couple she carried a child for. After the birth, she says, “Seeing the three of them together overwhelmed me in a way that is hard to describe – I was tired and a bit achy but so very, very happy.” She adds that this feeling kept her motivated to experience the miracle of childbirth with three more families after the first.

There are Countless Reasons for Becoming a Surrogate

Surrogates do not always begin their journeys the same way that Sarah Jones did. Many don’t even consider surrogacy until it hits closer to home. Sometimes seeing people close to you go through a struggle with infertility or obstacles to adoption can light the spark for becoming a surrogate. There’s also the perk of special friendships and second families created during surrogacy, something that Jones was passionate about in her story. You might also consider this path if you simply love being pregnant or are excited about giving life. There is also personal gain to be had from surrogacy, including access to quality healthcare and financial compensation. Regardless of the reasons, surrogacy is still a wonderfully generous gift to a family in need.

Choose SPS to Start Your Surrogacy Process

At Surrogate Parenting Services, you have access to passionate and experienced professionals who can provide you with the information, resources, and support you need throughout your own personal journey. If you are curious about becoming a surrogate for any of the reasons mentioned above or feel another connection to the process, reach out to our team for more information. For more information on becoming a surrogate, contact SPS at (949) 397-6855 today.


March 5, 2018

4 Ways to Bond with Baby During and After Surrogacy

Bonding with your baby is perhaps one of the most exciting parts of being a new parent. Since much of this initial bonding happens with the child in the womb, intended parents may wonder if they can still achieve the same connection with their child when he or she is born via surrogacy. Though the process will look a little different, there are plenty of ways to bond with your baby during the pregnancy and when you finally come home with your child.

1. Be Involved in the Pregnancy

As much as you can, try to be involved in the pregnancy process right along with your surrogate. This can mean going with her to doctor appointments or just spending some time together away from the hospital. This is helpful for bonding after childbirth because even though you are not experiencing the pregnancy yourself, your surrogate will more than likely be happy to keep you involved every step of the way and you’ll feel more involved in the pregnancy.

2. Talk to the Baby

When you meet with your surrogate, don’t be afraid to talk to the baby. A big part of mother and baby connection is the baby hearing the mother’s voice in vitro. Throughout the surrogacy process, let your baby hear your voice as much as possible. If it’s challenging to meet with your surrogate as often as you’d like, send her an audio recording of your voice to play for the baby, use speakerphone, or voice chat software.

3. Apply the Power of Touch

The more physical contact you have with your baby after he or she is born, the stronger your bond will be. Though a lot of this happens naturally as you change, bathe, and feed your baby, many parents also provide what’s known as “kangaroo care.” It simply involves holding your baby against you with skin-to-skin contact, and works just as well for fathers as it does mothers. Oftentimes, pulling your little one close in this manner is the fastest way to soothe him or her during fussy moments, so even if it feels a little odd at first, it will become natural.

4. Ease Into It

Lastly, it’s important to remember that your bond with your baby is incredibly special. Take your time easing into the transition of parenthood. Remember that you are this child’s parent and that your child will develop a special bond with you over time. Every parent brings something a little different to the table, so even if you aren’t parenting exactly like your significant other, like your friends, or like your parents did, that’s ok. How you parent will be unique to you and will shape your relationship with the little one, but you have a lifetime to work out the logistics of it.

Start Your Surrogacy Journey with SPS

If you are curious about building a family through surrogacy, start by contacting Surrogate Parenting Services. Experienced professionals at SPS will help you build your family by guiding you through every step of the process, from meetings to matching to the day of delivery. Our trusted mentors, many of which have gone through the process themselves, are here for you to answer any questions you may have about surrogacy. For more information, contact SPS at (949) 397-6855 today.


February 24, 2018

Surrogacy: How to Start the Conversation

While many intended parents are single, and therefore enter into their journey with the support of their surrogacy agency and team, others have spouses, domestic partners, or significant others who may be involved in the decision to go forward and who will ultimately become part of the team as well. With some couples, both people are on the same page from the start and the idea to work with a surrogate seemingly comes to mind for both at the same time. However, it’s also quite common for one person to ponder the idea and bring it up with the other. Given that it’s a very personal and often emotional decision, it can be difficult to decide how to approach the discussion with your partner. If you’re preparing to discuss surrogacy with your partner, use the tips below to help guide the conversation.

Start by Asking Questions

A good way to start the dialogue is by preparing a list of questions that you want to ask your partner. If you’ve been thinking about surrogacy for a long time but it hasn’t yet come up in your relationship, it may be a shock for your partner if you propose the idea out of the blue. Instead, start bringing up the conversation again about having children and gauge where your partner may be. Are they on the same page as you? Do they still love the idea of having a child? Have they been thinking about it since the last time you talked? The answers that your partner gives to these questions will help you steer the conversation toward surrogacy.

Hesitation is Okay

If you’ve proposed the idea of working with a surrogate to carry your child and your partner seems hesitant, don’t worry. It’s a natural reaction to a process that many are unfamiliar with. Surrogacy can seem like a strange concept to those who have maybe only heard of it in celebrity news or read tabloid stories. As you may already know, it’s easy to find the right kind of information about it if you know where to look. It may be helpful to use statements that begin with “I feel…” because they’ll encourage your partner to listen to you and can help you avoid stepping into accusatory language. Equally, you must also respect what your partner is saying and hear him or her out. If you need to pause the discussion because it becomes emotional or your partner isn’t ready to talk, give him or her space to process the idea and come back to the conversation after a while.

Learn About Surrogacy Together

Once you’ve come back to the conversation, share some of what you’ve learned about surrogacy on your own. Have you read testimonials that resonated with you? Share these with your partner and explain how you felt reading them. Browse surrogacy agency websites and blogs for honest stories that can shed light on both the amazing and challenging parts of the surrogacy process. It’s also a great idea to contact a local agency and schedule a meeting to learn more about what the first steps of the process may be for you. As you go, don’t pressure yourself or your partner to make hasty decisions. It’s a good idea to gather as much information as possible on the subject and let it all truly sink in before you make an official decision together.

Get Started with SPS

If you and your partner are ready to begin your journey, contact Surrogate Parenting Services for any of your surrogacy questions. Trained professionals at SPS can guide both you and your partner through the process one step at a time and at your own pace. Sometimes just a conversation to start can help both of you fall in love with the idea of someone carrying your baby. For more information on how to get started, contact SPS at (949) 397-6855 today.


February 15, 2018

Surrogacy: 5 Tips for a Comfortable Pregnancy

It’s no secret that pregnancy changes a woman’s body in many ways, some completely unexpected. Surrogates experience the multitude of physical and emotional changes during pregnancy as well as the added involvement of the intended parents and a specialized team of healthcare providers. Surrogacy can feel different than carrying your own child because there is an extra focus on your health from people other than your immediate family and friends. When the pregnancy changes begin to present themselves, remember that you have a dedicated team to turn to with any questions or concerns. To avoid some of the most common pregnancy discomforts, use incorporate the following five tips into your routine.

#1 Practice Yoga

Consult with your healthcare team before starting any exercise, but know that yoga can be a great way to promote flexibility and increase the strength of the muscles required for childbirth. Mayo Clinic also states that prenatal yoga can be helpful for nausea, headaches, and lower back pain. For many, yoga is a top alternative to more high-impact exercises and carries many of the same benefits.

#2 Add Meditation to Your Routine

Surrogacy can be an emotional journey filled with ups and downs, much like a regular pregnancy. Because there are usually more people involved in your surrogacy, it’s easy to get wrapped up in whatever is happening around you and put your own needs on the back burner. It’s also very common to experience mood swings during pregnancy. To ease your mind and promote relaxation, try meditating several times a week. This is a great way to tune in to your body and mind and can help you refocus when you need it. Even five minutes a day can be a simple way to incorporate some self-care and personal reflection into your routine.

#3 Get High-Quality Sleep

Getting enough sleep is always important but becomes especially crucial during pregnancy. If you didn’t have a set bedtime before, create one and try to stick with it. Communicate with other people in your household that your sleep is a priority so that they can help you stay on track. If you’re feeling tired at work or while out and about, don’t shy away from taking a 15-20-minute nap to reset. Feeling rested is important for the baby but also helps you manage your health and emotional wellness.

#4 Eat Well

To keep the baby healthy during your surrogacy, eating a diet rich in nutrients and vitamins is key. There are also several foods to be aware of that can help ease other uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms. To prevent or reduce feelings of nausea, try eating smaller portions throughout the day. Skipping meals may be tempting but can make you feel worse. Ginger ale or ginger gum is also handy to keep around when your stomach isn’t feeling its best. Foods high in fiber are good for your digestive health and can help prevent constipation. To keep uncomfortable gas at bay, avoid heavy starches such as potatoes or certain vegetables like broccoli or brussels sprouts. Keeping a list handy of certain foods that trigger symptoms will help you stay on track.

#5 Exercise Regularly

In addition to yoga, regular cardio exercise is a wonderful way to ease uncomfortable symptoms of your pregnancy during the surrogacy process. Something as simple as taking a walk during lunch can do wonders for fatigue, back pain, and stiff muscles. As always, make sure your doctors are aware of any exercise routines you plan on starting and consult with them first.

Start Your Surrogacy Journey with SPS

When you’re ready to become a surrogate, start with a trusted and experienced agency that has your needs in mind. Surrogate Parenting Services is committed to providing you with the best surrogacy experience you can have. SPS takes care of everything from setting you up with your ideal team to guiding you through each step of the pregnancy. For more information, contact SPS at (949) 397-6855 today.


February 2, 2018

How to Support Your Loved One During Surrogacy

If you have a friend, family member, or loved one going through the surrogacy process, your support is crucial during this time. Because many people do not truly understand the intricacies of surrogacy, it can be hard to know how to be there for your loved one in a way that really counts. Whether you know someone who is becoming a surrogate for the first time or intended parents starting to build their family, here are some tips that can help you be the best support you can be.

Respect Their Decision

Though it may seem obvious, respecting your loved one’s decision to pursue surrogacy is the best way to be supportive. You can make this clear by validating their choices and celebrating the process as you would celebrate any new pregnancy announcement. Avoid asking questions that may seem as if you’re trying to talk them out of surrogacy. Chances are they have already explored other options and are making an educated decision. Especially for intended parents, the choice to use a surrogate may be a sensitive topic if there have been prior struggles with infertility or other health complications. When they make the announcement, it’s best to simply celebrate their choice and assure them that they have your support.

Lend an Ear

During the surrogacy process, your loved ones will likely have a team of support that could include a surrogate agency, health care providers, or support groups. Even so, they will appreciate having a close friend to vent to that’s not as involved in the surrogacy process. As an outside perspective, you may not have answers to their questions, but your willingness to listen will make a difference.

Deflect Questions from Strangers

A great way to help your loved one have a smooth and enjoyable surrogacy is to act as a shield from intrusive questions from others. If they request you as such, they will appreciate your ability to answer politely to the potential stream of questions or comments pouring in from neighbors or even complete strangers. For surrogate mothers especially, there are many scenarios in which they may feel uncomfortable explaining their situation to nosy inquisitors. Your support in deflecting these questions can alleviate a lot of stress. If you know intended parents using a surrogate to carry their child, you can be especially helpful as they bring their child home to help them keep their privacy. In such a sensitive time, something small like fielding calls or visits for your loved ones can help them transition easily out of the surrogacy journey and into their next chapter.

Learn More About Surrogacy with SPS

If you or someone you know is looking to start their family with surrogacy, start by contacting Surrogate Parenting Services. Our experienced mentors are passionate about helping surrogates and intended parents have the best surrogacy journey possible. For more information, contact SPS at (949) 397-6855 today.


January 31, 2018

Top 4 Reasons for the United States Surrogacy Boom

You don’t have to do much beyond turning on the TV to hear a story about surrogacy nowadays. Chances are that you have at least one person in your circle who has considered it, if not grown their family with the help of a gestational surrogate. Just a few years ago, it wasn’t quite so big. So, what’s the reason behind the surrogacy boom? It comes down to these four things.

1) Improved Legislation

Particularly here in California, surrogacy laws go the distance. While the state’s parentage laws help anyone growing their family through virtually any means beyond natural conception, they’re of particular importance to those who work with surrogates because they empower individuals to establish parentage before a baby is born. While many states are starting to come around to this and have started looking out for unique cases, California is the only state that works this way, and has jurisdiction over virtually every parentage case that has had at least some part of the process occur within the state boundaries. The added legislation provides reassurance to intended parents that the process is safe and secure.

2) Better Medical Processes and Care

IVF techniques have been refined over the years. When IVF first emerged, it had an average success rate of just 6%. However, when the latest round of data was collected in 2015, the CDC reported that ART cycles were successful 47% of the time when a donor egg was used. While there is never a guarantee with any kind of reproductive assistance, the steady increase in healthy pregnancies over the years, paired with the fact that thousands of babies are born each year using ART is encouraging for many intended parents.

3) Legislative/ Humanistic Global Issues

While the legislation in California is amazing, it’s not this way around the globe. Many countries outright ban surrogacy, and some, like Australia, even prohibit parents from traveling to make surrogacy arrangements. Others simply prohibit surrogates from accepting payments, which leaves intended parents with few options if family and friends are unable to help. In China, surrogacy is a gray area, but stigma and a varying egg donor pool often causes citizens to seek surrogates in other countries. The US, with strong laws in states like California, and top-notch medical care, is the obvious choice for intended parents who must travel for surrogacy services.

4) An Established Model

Unfortunately, any time there is an emotionally-charged situation, there will be someone trying to take advantage of the vulnerable. While other countries around the world struggle with managing these types of issues, and it still occasionally occurs in parts of the US too, California’s surrogacy-friendly laws have put it on the forefront of innovation and helped the state become a global destination for surrogacy over the years. Because of this, trustworthy agencies like Surrogate Parenting Services have earned a reputation for providing quality services, while protecting the rights of surrogates and intended parents alike. Nowadays, intended parents can take advantage of this established model, knowing that if they choose to work with SPS, they’re selecting an agency that has helped hundreds of families grow.

Work with a Trusted Surrogacy Agency

Whether you’re an individual who would like to grow your family with the help of a surrogate, or you’re a woman who would like to be a surrogate, SPS is here to support you. We match individuals up with our own proprietary process, which includes values and personality, to create teams that have a smooth surrogacy journey. We also make sure everything is seen to throughout the process, so everyone involved can relax and enjoy the pregnancy. Visit our “become a surrogate” page if you’d like to help a family. Individuals interested in growing their families with the help of a surrogate may complete our online form or call us directly at (949) 397-6855.

January 22, 2018

Surrogates: 4 Health Myths for Pregnant Women

Women can only become surrogates with SPS if they’ve already had a healthy pregnancy and have at least one child of their own living with them. However, sometimes years may pass between the birth of your child and the decision to become a surrogate, and it’s easy to forget some of the common health myths. Perhaps you may have actually believed some of them with your earlier pregnancy, too. On this page, we’ll give a quick refresher on some of the most common health myths for pregnant women, and explain why they’re totally busted.

1) Surrogates Must Eat for Two

Well, yes and no, say experts. As a surrogate, you would start your journey at a healthy weight or BMI, which would mean you need to take in about 300 extra calories per day. That’s not quite like “eating for two,” because one of you is quite small! To clarify, 300 calories is about what you might take in if you eat an apple with peanut butter or have half a sandwich with some skim milk.

2) Hot Baths Will Hurt the Baby

Hot baths are totally fine, says the American Pregnancy Association. In fact, they can be incredibly beneficial for keeping you relaxed and soothing sore muscles. The worry comes in more with hot tubs, which are typically programmed to be 104° F. Exposure to temperatures over 102° F during the first trimester of pregnancy is linked to increased risk of birth defects. In other words, you’ll want to steer clear of hot tubs, or limit heat exposure per the APA guidelines, but an average warm bath is ok.

3) You Should Cut Back on Exercise or Not Exercise at All

Naturally, this is one area you’ll want to talk with your fertility specialist about, because most surrogacies are considered high-risk and the physician may well want you to take it easy, especially in the beginning. However, as the pregnancy progresses, most women get a green light to resume their normal routines, provided the exercise doesn’t include certain positions or excessive heat. Provided the doctor gives his ok, exercise is good for you and the baby.

4) If You’re Not Having the “Perfect” Pregnancy, Something is Wrong

As surrogates, women are always looking for signs that things are progressing normally and that the baby is healthy. It’s understandable, considering you’re carrying someone else’s hopes and dreams, as well as a few of your own, no doubt. It’s easy to overanalyze situations, like if morning sickness is present or not present, and how it compares to earlier pregnancies. Interestingly, scientists are now linking a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin with morning sickness, and note that baby girls produce more than baby boys. Women who are sick enough to have been hospitalized for morning sickness for at least three days are 80% more likely to be carrying a girl. However, absence of morning sickness, even while carrying a girl, is not always cause for concern, nor is it somehow better to not be sick at all. Each pregnancy is unique, whether you feel wonderful and are over-the-moon ecstatic the whole time or fall somewhere else on the spectrum. Always defer questions or concerns to your physician, but know there is no “perfect” pregnancy.

Interested in Becoming a Surrogate?

If you haven’t already signed on with an agency and you’re considering becoming a surrogate, let SPS help you through the process. Our founder Cristie Montgomery created Surrogate Parenting Services after experiencing the process firsthand as a surrogate, and now has been involved in the births of hundreds of babies. Not only does she personally meet each and every surrogate, but she ensures all parties involved have the smoothest experience possible. To learn more and see if you’re a candidate, visit our “become a surrogate” page.

January 9, 2018

Surrogacy in California: The Many Faces of Motherhood

Naturally, anyone who is familiar with surrogacy in California already knows that motherhood is not a one-size-fits-all title. There are countless faces of motherhood, each special in its own unique way.

“Traditional” Motherhood

What most would consider traditional motherhood involves natural conception, delivery, and raising a child who shares a biological link. While just under four-million babies are born each year, and the vast majority to their biologically-related mothers, roughly 11% of all women are infertile, an untold number cannot, or chose not, to carry and deliver biologically-related children.

Foster Motherhood

There are more than 400,000 children in the American foster care system, each with his or her own traumatic history. Some have been beaten, neglected, or abandoned. The median amount of time child spends in foster care is one year, with more than half of all children returning to their parent or primary caregiver at some point. Foster moms help these children overcome their difficult pastes and provide a warm and loving environment while the child’s family rehabilitates and works to bring the child home. In cases where the child’s family does is not able to regain custody, foster parents often adopt the children they care for. This occurs about one-fourth of the time, while the remaining children stay in the system. Approximately 20,000 age out of the system each year.

Adoptive Motherhood

As noted, many foster mothers eventually go on to be adoptive mothers, while other adoptive mothers receive their children directly from the biological mother or through other avenues. While surrogacy in California enables mothers to establish parentage before a baby is born, this isn’t so in other parts of the country. In these cases, adoptive mothers may actually be the biological mother (if a surrogate helped with the pregnancy), the partner of the biological or birth mother, or related through some other fashion. Unlike foster motherhood, adoption is forever.

Surrogate Motherhood

Often referred to as surrogates or gestational carriers, surrogate mothers make the compassionate decision to carry a baby for another person. Historically, surrogate mothers were also genetically-related to the babies they carried, but nowadays most intended parents either use their own eggs or select eggs from donors as a separate facet of the surrogacy process. Some surrogates remain in the lives of the families they help create, while others provide assistance and move onto other things. Each relationship between a surrogate and intended parent is beautifully unique.

Motherhood Via Surrogacy/ Intended Motherhood

Surrogacy has been on the rise for more than a decade. Previous statistics showed a leap of 83% from 2004 to 2008, with the latest research showing more than 1,500 babies being born via surrogacy each year. However, that was back in 2011. Advancements in IVF and improved services have put surrogacy within reach for many intended mothers. While some intended mothers are able to use their own eggs in the surrogacy process and can therefore share a biological link with the child, others opt for surrogacy in order to give their partners a genetic link to their child or for other personal reasons. Because intended mothers are able to be part of the pregnancy, they also begin developing bonds with their babies right from the start.

Shared Motherhood

Shared motherhood, or co-motherhood, is the term most often used in the LGBT community. This unique arrangement enables both parties of a lesbian couple to share in the pregnancy by implanting one woman’s fertilized egg in the uterus of her partner. In states like California, both women can be named as parents before the baby is born. In other states, lawful parentage may belong to either the biological mother or the gestational carrier, despite the couple being together. In cases where the state does not have LGBT-friendly policies, it’s typical for the non-custodial mother to adopt the baby after he or she is born.


Women who marry a person who already has children becomes their step-mother. While not a new concept at all, step-mothers often care for their step-children as if they were her own.

Motherhood by Choice

A select few, such as aunts, grandmothers, cousins, siblings, or close family friends, choose to fill a mothering role for a child. While these women almost never gain the title of “mother,” they do shape the lives of the children they shelter and help grow.

Motherhood by Any Name

While these are some of the most common ways women come into motherhood, it is not by any means an exhaustive list. All faces of motherhood, whether mentioned here or not, are special and unique in their own ways, and each time a compassionate and caring woman has a hand in the creation or development of life, it’s cause for celebration.

Considering Surrogacy in California? Call SPS

Surrogate Parenting Services is an experienced and dedicated agency, based in and focused on surrogacy in California. We work with both gestational carriers and intended parents to create matches which result in a smooth process, and stand beside our clients every step of the way. If you’re a woman who would like to help someone complete a family, please visit our page on becoming a surrogate. Individuals interested in growing their families with the help of a surrogate may complete our online form or call us directly at (949) 397-6855.

December 29, 2017

4 Tips for Surrogates on Bonding with Intended Parents

Surrogates are amazing people who are willing to give a selfless gift to parents who could not otherwise complete their families without them. However, many surrogates wonder what their relationship with the intended parents will be like and how to ensure that the relationship will be comfortable for everyone involved. On this page, we’ll explore some tips for surrogates that will help you get the most joy out of the journey.

1) Talk to Your Surrogacy Agency

There are lots of families who want to grow with the help of a surrogate, and it’s part of the agency’s job to make sure that surrogates are matched with intended parents who have similar values and personalities. At SPS, we spend time getting to know you. Our founder Cristie Montgomery will come to your home to meet with you and talk to you about your goals, wishes, and what your ideal arrangement looks like. From there, she’ll compare what you’re looking for and your personality to all the intended parents who would love to have your help, and will suggest matches she thinks are ideal. Although not every surrogacy agency works in such a personal and mindful way, if you’re working with an agency like SPS, your surrogacy team will be in your corner from the start. By making the very best matches possible, and giving you time to meet and decide for yourself, your relationship with the intended parents will already be off to a great start.

2) Talk to the Intended Parents

It’s ok to let them know what your hopes and wishes are. You’ll all be part of an amazing journey together and you’ll want to be on the same page from the very beginning. It’s also important to listen to them with an open heart and open mind, so you can dialogue about what matters most.

3) Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Surrogates are compassionate women. You wouldn’t have started the surrogacy process if you didn’t already have some understanding of the struggles intended parents face before they seek out a surrogacy agency. However, it can also be helpful to remember that, if these parents could have their own babies, they probably would. They may struggle, feel powerless, or even have jealousy because you can feel the baby’s kicks and they can’t. Some women would give just about anything for a bout of morning sickness. It’s common for intended parents to distance themselves because it’s painful for them to not be experiencing the pregnancy firsthand, while others will want to be involved in every detail. If you can genuinely put yourself in their shoes, and you follow what’s in your heart, you cannot go wrong.

4) Remember Every Bond is Different

Your bond with the intended parents will be as unique as the baby you carry. No two sets of intended parents and surrogates will ever form the exact same relationship. While many pairings SPS makes remain friends even after the baby is born because they’ve been well matched and went on such a personal journey together, there’s no rule that says that’s how it must be. If you and the intended parents are comfortable with your relationship, that’s all that matters.

Learn More About What Surrogates Do

If you think becoming a surrogate is right for you, learn more about the surrogacy process, and check out the requirements to become a surrogate. When you’re ready to begin the surrogacy journey, SPS will guide you through every step, from finding your ideal match to navigating the specifics of your arrangement.