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March 29, 2017

4 Subtle Signs You Might Want to Become a Surrogate

The decision to become a surrogate is not one that can – or should – be made overnight. It takes a lot of consideration. If you’ve thought about it before but weren’t sure you had what it takes, you may need to go back and evaluate yourself and your lifestyle to see if surrogacy is for you. There are several signs to look for that might just show you that you want to become a surrogate.

1. You Love to Help People

The first and one of the most important qualities you must possess if you want to become a surrogate is a love for helping people. For many, giving back is one of the best ways to reenergize. If you feel your best while taking care of someone, volunteering, or going out of your way to make someone feel special, then this is probably true for you. It’s safe to say that giving the gift of a child to parents who truly desire and deserve one is something not just anyone can do. It takes a generous person. If you often feel like you’re looking for more or bigger ways to give back, surrogacy may be right for you.

2. You Value Family

When family is your first priority in life, you can understand how precious the gift of a child is. You realize that having a child has been one of the best things to happen to your life, and you can’t imagine anyone else who wants to build a family not having a chance to do so. Family time for you is something to be cherished. As a surrogate, you would give someone else the gift of family and you might just end up with another kind of family of your own. There are cases where surrogates and intended parents develop lasting relationships and closer bonds than they ever could have imagined. If you want to give the gift of family, consider surrogacy.

3. You Love Being Pregnant

This one might seem obvious, but not everyone enjoys being pregnant. If you loved being pregnant and had an easy delivery, you already meet one of the requirements for becoming a surrogate. Not only would you get another opportunity to experience all the things you loved about being pregnant, you would be doing something huge for someone else who doesn’t have that chance.

4. You Are Dedicated

Being a surrogate, while a wonderful experience, is not always easy. It takes a special kind of person, one who is dedicated and passionate about what they’re doing and why. If you feel that you’re a hard worker who always sees things through to the end, it might be a fit for you. Think about what others say about you, whether in the workplace or your personal life. Are you known for your dedication? If your friends and family know you as the kind of person who loves a challenge and puts your whole heart into what you do, you might just have the moxie it takes to be a surrogate.

Become a Surrogate

It takes a very selfless and special woman to become a surrogate. If you feel like this is the right path for you and would like to partner with an agency that will look out for your interests and needs throughout the journey, we’d love to hear from you. Please review our surrogacy mother requirements and contact us today.

March 14, 2017

How to Become a Surrogate in California: Preparing for the Home Visit

As you learn how to become a surrogate in California, you’re certain to pick up on the differences between agencies. One of the things that sets SPS apart from others is that Cristie Montgomery visits every woman in her home before beginning the surrogacy process. This is essentially your first interview with Cristie and will help determine the perfect match between you and intended parents. The home visit is usually a fun and enjoyable time; more like two friends conversing. With a little preparation, you can feel confident going into a home visit and be well on your way to becoming a surrogate and giving hopeful parents the gift of a child.

Find the Right Time

Just as you wouldn’t want to head to a job interview feeling rushed and unprepared, you should have the same mentality when preparing for your home visit with SPS. Even though there is truly nothing to be anxious about, it can feel a bit overwhelming getting ready for the first step in a life-changing experience. Make sure when scheduling the home visit you have plenty of time. You will feel much more relaxed meeting with members of the organization when you know you can devote your day to it. It’s also a good idea to block off your time to avoid interruptions. Though your family should be with you during the home visit, it’s usually best to ensure you can all be present with no coming or going. The less you have to manage, the more comfortable you will feel.

Ask Questions

It’s important to come to the home visit prepared with questions of your own. Learning how to become a surrogate in California for the first time can feel like navigating uncharted waters, so take full advantage of the home visit to clear up any uncertainties. Ask as many questions as you like. This is just as much for you as it is for Cristie. Write down a list of questions, have it with you, and make sure you have an answer for each one before the end of the visit. Getting as much information as possible will only help you feel more confident and comfortable during the process and it will help Cristie and her team find the absolute best match for you.

Be Yourself

Lastly, be yourself. There’s no point in forcing a different side of yourself here. Rather, the home visit is for Cristie and SPS to learn more about you, your family and household, and your lifestyle. This is not to judge. Each case of surrogacy, both for intended parents and surrogates, is highly personal and different from every other. To be sure that you’re a fit for the intended parents and vice versa, everything must be done with sincerity. This is how Cristie has helped to bring so many healthy, compatible families together with success.

Learn More About How to Become a Surrogate in California

The home visit is an extremely important step of the process, but if you relax, ask questions, and be your sincere self, you should have a successful experience. If you’re not already signed up with SPS and want to learn more about how to become a surrogate in California, please browse our site more and check out our surrogacy requirements.

March 3, 2017

3 Essential Tips for Dealing with Unwanted Surrogacy Advice

Surrogacy is a powerful topic, often met with controversial and conflicting opinions, but at the end of the day, surrogacy has the potential to change lives in big ways. After all, it is the opportunity for many longing parents to have the child they’ve always dreamed of. It is often the answer to a prayer for a family. As with all matters of other people’s business, the topic of surrogacy almost always comes with unsolicited advice.

How to Deal with Unwanted Surrogacy Advice

No matter where you are in the process of becoming a surrogate, those you tell are sure to have questions. Surrogacy can be confusing to some, simply because the information out there is usually delivered in the form of comedic movies or outlandish tabloid tales. Depending on the person you’re talking to, are several tactics to consider.

1. Think About Where the Advice is Coming From

In any conversation you have with friends, family, or even strangers, it’s important to consider the motives behind their words. Are they asking you something ridiculous because they simply don’t understand the process? Or are they offering advice from a critical standpoint? It’s important to remember that much of the truth about surrogacy is unknown to the general population, so it may be worth a moment of your time to kindly explain how it works to those who are truly curious. If you sense that the question or advice precedes a critical opinion, use your judgment to shut down the conversation with a firm, “Yes, thank you.”

2. Find an Opportunity for New Perspective

If your friends are showering you with parenting tips, pregnancy tips, or tips that seemingly aren’t relevant to your situation at all, sometimes all you need to do is listen. It’s human nature to want to share life experiences, and even if the people surrounding you have never had any experience using or being a surrogate, they are sure to feel that your pregnancy journey can benefit from hearing about their own. So, listen, nod, and smile – sometimes you may actually find a gem or two of advice worth keeping. There is always something new to learn.

3. Trust Your Intuition

When it comes down to it, your own knowledge and intuition is what matters most. If you feel inundated with criticism and questions, take a deep breath and remember that outside opinions don’t matter. You (and the intended parents) are the only ones going through the surrogacy process. Your friends and family may never understand how it works, but you do. Your relationship with your agency, the intended parents, and everyone else on your support team is personal to you. Trust your body, trust your gut feelings, and know that what you’re doing is giving an incredible gift – one that not just anyone can give.

Become a Surrogate

If you’ve made the decision to become a surrogate, we’d love to help you on your journey. At SPS, we’ll help make sure you’re matched with intended parents who share your values and will make sure your needs are seen to throughout the process. Please take a moment to review our surrogate guidelines and let us know when you’re ready to move forward.

February 27, 2017

Why BMI Matters When You’re Going to Be a Surrogate

The decision to be a surrogate is huge and wonderful. Gestational surrogates forever change the lives of the families they help and will always have a special place in their hearts. It truly takes a very special kind of woman to choose to be a surrogate, as the kindness, generosity, and compassion these women have is remarkable. The truth is, very few women are willing to give in this way, and of those who are, even fewer actually qualify. Arguably, one of the biggest challenges women who want to be surrogates face is BMI. If you’ve done research, you’ll see that it’s a recurring theme, but what exactly is it and why does it matter so much?

What is BMI?

BMI is short for body-mass index. It’s a measurement of a person’s body fat, calculated using their height and weight. If you don’t already know your BMI, you can check it on the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services National Institutes of Health website.

If Your BMI Is…

  • Less than 18.5, you’re underweight
  • 18.5–24.9, you’re of normal weight
  • 25–29.9, you’re considered overweight
  • 30+, you’re considered medically obese

What BMI is Ok and Who Decides?

Most intended parents are already working with a fertility specialist, and the same physician will be the one who performs all of the initial treatments, including IVF and the embryo transfer. It’s this doctor who will set his own guidelines for health and weight requirements. Most doctors prefer to work with women who have a BMI of 33 or lower (some say 31-32), though others will provide treatment for people with a BMI of up to 35.  Considering the average American woman is 5 feet 4 inches, she’d have to weigh 192 pounds to qualify, having a BMI of 33.

Why Does BMI Matter?

BMI is a very reliable indicator of potential complications and risks a woman might face throughout the surrogacy process, and given the very delicate nature of surrogacy, it’s important to minimize these risks as much as possible.

If Your BMI is Too High…

It takes longer to become pregnant. Generally speaking, it takes women with a BMI of 35 or more twice as long to become pregnant. Equally, it takes underweight women four times as long.

You’re more prone to gestational diabetes. Even though any woman may have gestational diabetes, women with a BMI over 30 are three-times more likely to have it.

You’re more likely to have high blood pressure. Women with a BMI over 30 are more likely to have issues controlling their blood pressure throughout a pregnancy.

The risk of preeclampsia increases. Women with a BMI of 35 have double the risk of developing preeclampsia, compared to those with a BMI of 25.

The baby has a higher risk of numerous complications. High birth weight, miscarriage, stillbirth, and birth defect rates all climb with the gestational carrier’s BMI.

Labor can be more difficult. Overweight surrogates tend to labor longer. Due to the larger size of the baby, there’s an increased risk for C-section, and there’s a higher chance there will be anesthesia complications or that the surrogate will hemorrhage.

BMI Matters When You’re Going to Be a Surrogate

Unfortunately, the risks associated with having a high BMI are very real and affect you, the baby, and the intended parents. As tough as it may be, it’s better if you increase your activity or focus on a nutritious diet beforehand if your BMI is not within a healthy range. In fact, maintaining a healthy BMI should be something we all aspire to, whether or not we become surrogates. With that said, if you’re generally healthy and have a healthy BMI (or even sit on the border) you may qualify to be a surrogate. Please take a moment to check out our other guidelines and let us know if you have questions or are ready to begin the process.

February 16, 2017

Becoming a Surrogate? 5 Ways You’ll Know When Baby’s on Board

When a woman has decided on becoming a surrogate, it’s generally all systems go.  By the time she even makes the call to a surrogacy agency, she’s already had a lengthy journey that brought her there. It’s common for these women to have infertility to have touched their lives in some way, be it a friend or close relative who spurred their outpouring of compassion, and they’ve probably already talked it over with their family and significant other too. Check, check, and double check. It would seem that at this point, it’s only a matter of finding the right intended parents to partner up with, but even then, there are exams, meetings, contacts, and more, all before the actual “work” of becoming a surrogate is started. So, finding out if you’re pregnant is a monumental moment that doesn’t actually come until at least a couple months into the process. You don’t want to wait to find out if you’re pregnant though… you want to know now! Here are your options.

1. Blood Test

If you haven’t been through the process before, you may be surprised to learn that you can’t find out right away whether you’re pregnant or not. Doctors usually want to have a proper blood test done ten days after the embryo transfer. Yes, you have to wait. And then you have to wait some more. However, the blood test is by far the most accurate and monitoring the human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) levels will not only indicate whether you’re pregnant, but that the pregnancy is viable.

2. Urine Tests

A lot of women worry that standard drugstore urine tests will provide a false-positive because of the hormones given during the surrogacy process. This is generally incorrect. Pregnancy tests measure hCG, which is not supplemented during IVF. Today’s pregnancy tests are very sensitive and most say they can pick up hCG only a week into a pregnancy. However, it’s not uncommon for a woman to get a positive result after just five days. If you go this route, just remember that every woman’s body is different and measurable levels of hCG may not be detected at home at all, even in a healthy pregnancy. Equally, the detection of hCG doesn’t necessarily signal that the pregnancy is viable, so it’s always best to defer to the doctor to confirm a pregnancy and ensure everything is progressing normally.

3. Nausea

Actual testing aside, almost one-third of women report feeling nauseous during what’s normally considered the fourth week of pregnancy. This includes the time all the way back to the start of their last period, so it coincides with your second week after the transfer, or the week you’ll go in for blood testing. If the embryo implants and your hormones kick in, they just might kick up some nausea as well.

4. Fatigue

Week four (your second week after transfer again) is also the time many women start to feel first trimester fatigue. If you’re resting well otherwise, but still feel like taking an afternoon nap, it could be a sign that you’re pregnant.

5. Frequent Urination

During the same week, the need to use the restroom a lot may also begin. Unlike the frequent urination associated with the latter part of a pregnancy, which is caused by pressure on your bladder, this is caused by a surge in hormones.

Are You Considering Becoming a Surrogate?

At SPS, we help women interested in becoming a surrogate through the entire process, from matching them with intended parents, to overseeing contracts and making sure medical needs are seen to, and more. Take a moment to review our process, and let us know if you have questions or are ready to move forward.

February 2, 2017

5 Things The Gilmore Girls Got Wrong About Surrogacy (Spoilers!)

Back in 2007, aficionados of the delightfully-witty show Gilmore Girls were left with lots of questions and feeling hopeful about the future of the leading ladies. Rory, honoring her independent spirit, was headed off to report on the Obama campaign, Lorelai’s business was good, plus she and Luke seemed to have finally settled into a relationship, and Emily was doing well, with her own plans and stable family relationships. Yet, we still wanted so desperately to see how things worked out for Lorelai and Luke and we needed to see what Rory had made of herself.

Fans received an extra special treat near the end of 2016 when Netflix released “Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life,” a show we hoped would answer our questions as well as deliver more of the fast-paced quips and pop-culture references we’ve come to know and love. Now, if you haven’t yet seen A Year in the Life, and you’re a fan, it may be best to catch up on the 6-hour revival before reading further, though we’ll try not to reveal too much beyond how the show addresses surrogacy.

To set the scene, you should know that Lorelai and Luke have indeed weathered the test of time. At the start of A Year in the Life, Emily remarks about how selfish Lorelai is that she never asked Luke if he wanted more children. This burns Lorelai, and she goes to Luke and begins asking him if he wants kids, and then starts pushing for surrogacy.

1. Reputable Agencies Spend Time Getting to Know the Intended Parents

From the get-go, we can see that Lorelai and Luke are not on the same page with even having a child, let alone with going the route of surrogacy. Lorelai is bent on helping fulfill a wish that Luke doesn’t even say that he wants. This concept was lost on a lot of viewers. People wanted so desperately for Luke and Lorelai to become parents, that most online reviews of the revival fail to see this. Luke goes along with it, but he never displays any real interest in the process, besides appeasing Lorelai. This would have come out during the intake process for the couple, if they had been at a reputable agency. Instead, they received pushy sales tactics, courtesy of Paris, who is now running a surrogacy agency for the elite. Real agencies spend time getting to know the couple. The process is designed to help make dreams come true, not sell a service.

2. Surrogates Aren’t Rated and Ranked

When the couple meets with Paris, she starts rapidly scanning through profiles of surrogates and then tosses her book of “bargain basement breeders” aside in favor of “prime meat.” She ranks them in order of her perceived quality, with military wives being “the cream of the crop.” This is inaccurate on a million levels, but to clarify, all surrogates undergo testing, both mental and physical, to ensure they can fulfill their roles as surrogates. After this, reputable agencies go through a matchmaking process, in an effort to pair intended parents with surrogates who share similar values. At SPS, many of the matches we make form lifelong bonds because of the journey they share. Each person is a part of the team.

3. Surrogates Don’t Determine the Genetic Characteristics of  a Child

In a sense, Gilmore Girls did hit on an important point. Lorelai is in her late 40s and, therefore, would probably not use her own egg. This isn’t a certainty, as each case is decided by the intended parents and their doctors. However, the similarities stop there. During the presentation, Paris warns the couple of the dangers in choosing a low-quality surrogate, claiming if the woman isn’t smart enough or pretty enough, their child will wind up with a career at McDonald’s. Ethics and snap-judgements aside, surrogates today are usually gestational surrogates, which means their eggs aren’t used. They share no genetic relationship with the child.

4. People Don’t Expect to Alter Contracts Midway Through

Paris takes a call, and although we only know her side of the conversation, the tone of it is pretty clear. “No, there is no return policy. What’s she going to return? It’s a baby,” she says. Although this was probably added entirely for comedic effect, it reflects poorly on the mindset of people who enter into surrogacy contracts. All contracts are negotiated ahead of time in a manner that meets the needs and expectations of the intended parents and the surrogate. Because some of surrogacy is unpredictable, detailed plans are made ahead of time to address any potential complication. It’s unfathomable that any client of a reputable agency would have an unclear understanding of the terms they helped create, let alone ask for a “return.” Here in California, intended parents can establish their rights before the baby even arrives as well, and most do. This scene was yet another example of how far removed from reality the show actually was.

5. Nobody Can Tell if You Had the Help of a Surrogate

At another point, Paris meets Lane and her twins. In true Paris style, she quips, “Who did your work?” She then responds in disbelief to the news that Lane gave birth to her own children without medical assistance. If you know the show, then you know that Lane’s babies were the result of an unplanned pregnancy, but Paris’ insistence is enough to make some people wonder if there’s some kind of difference. There’s not. Nobody will ever know that you had the help of a surrogate unless you tell them.

Considering Surrogacy?

Whether the Gilmore Girls writers genuinely didn’t understand the surrogacy process or simply hammed it up for the sake of comedy, they fell short. However, this is a prime opportunity to highlight these misconceptions and correct them. If you’ve been considering surrogacy, but held off because of the way TV or the media presents it, you can rest assured they’ve got it wrong. Get real information from a reputable surrogacy agency; contact us today.

January 27, 2017

Being a Surrogate: 7 Tips to Help Move Labor Along

Being a surrogate is truly amazing and life-changing for everyone involved. Naturally, you’ll all be excited to meet the little one when the big day arrives, and as much as you loved your pregnancy, you’ll probably be glad to get through the labor as quickly as possible. The good news is, there are lots of things you can do to help move labor along when the time comes. With your doctor’s go ahead, these tips should help.

1. Relax- This Delivery Will Go Much Quicker!

A woman’s first labor can take days to progress, with active labor taking roughly 8 hours, according to Baby Center, but since you must have had at least one child to qualify as a surrogate, your body already knows what to do and you’re a seasoned pro, so you can expect active labor to take around three hours less.

2. Keep Moving

For as long as you’re permitted to be up and about, keep moving. Walking helps the baby move into position more and this can add pressure to your cervix, so it dilates quicker. Many women report that walking also helps ease the discomfort associated with contractions as well. If you’re up for it and feeling good, try walking at an incline or take the stairs.

3. Take a Warm Bath or Shower

While there isn’t any scientific evidence to show that a warm bath or shower does anything to speed up labor, it should relax you and make you more comfortable, and that just might do it. Moreover, it can help reduce your dependence on pain medications, which can slow labor.

4. Use the Restroom

The less full you are, the more room baby has to move into position.

5. Squat

Like walking and stair climbing, squatting helps baby move into position and can help apply pressure to your cervix. Plus, it often helps with contractions as well.

6. Create a Soothing Environment

The more relaxed you are, the easier it is for your body to do what it needs to do. There is no magic formula here, as every woman finds different things relaxing. However, you can try dimming the lights, aromatherapy, getting a massage, watching a TV show, or simply reading a book.

7. Distract Yourself

Some old traditions involve baking a chocolate cake during the earlier stages of labor. There may actually be something to this, as chocolate has phenylethylamine, which is believed to impact the amount of endorphins and oxytocin your body produces. This is also why chocolate can be a cure for depression, but these two things can make you feel better and help labor progress. Failing that, at least you’ll have killed some time and will have a tasty cake to eat.

Interested in Being a Surrogate?

At SPS we help pair surrogates up with their ideal intended parent matches and support everyone throughout the journey. If being a surrogate is something you’d like to do, take a moment to review our guidelines and let us know when you’re ready to move forward.

January 16, 2017

State Protections Cause Booming Demand for Surrogacy in California

Surrogacy in California is on the rise, perhaps even more than it is in other states. The process has become commonplace with the shift to gestational surrogacy; an option that allows intended parents to share a genetic link with their baby or have a child with the help of a donor. It differs from traditional surrogacy in that the gestational surrogate’s egg is not used, so she shares no biological relationship with the baby. While this shift by itself has led more intended parents to seek the help of surrogates, it doesn’t explain the drastic rise of surrogacy in California entirely. The new, more protective laws for intended parents do.

Early Numbers Suggest an Exponential Increase

Although surrogacy in California is not tracked as fully as it should be, the Sacramento Bee was able to get preliminary numbers from the California Department of Public Health. According to their records, hospital clerks noted “surrogacy” just 53 times in charts in 2010. By 2015, the number skyrocketed to 360 records of surrogate births.

California Protects the Rights of Intended Parents

While many states initially adopted what’s known as the “Uniform Parentage Act,” which is specially designed to protect the rights of parents and children, California has repeatedly added new legislation to ensure the regulations keep up with the times. For clarification, the original laws were created back in the 70s and many states still use them. In 2013, California made a major breakthrough and adapted the law to address surrogacy, ensuring that the intended parents would be the parents of a child born via surrogacy. Other states require blood tests after a baby is born or require the intended parents to adopt their baby. In 2015, additional guidelines were added, which further protected all intended parents and made the rule that most surrogacy cases that directly involved California in some way would have to be tried within the state. In other words, it further serves as a safeguard against the unfair laws of other states, even if the baby happens to be born in another state or the gestational carrier resides elsewhere. To date, California is the only state to have established such comprehensive laws.

Who is Choosing Surrogacy in California?

People from all over the world are coming to the Golden State when they’d like to grow their family with the help of a surrogate. America, as a whole, has become a trusted destination due to the high quality of medical care available, but California, in particular, is chosen because of these protective statutes.

Work with a Reputable Agency

SPS was founded in 1990 and has helped bring more than 600 babies into the world and into the loving arms of their intended parents. We create ideal pairings of intended parents and qualified surrogates, give them the opportunity to meet, and support them through the process. If you’re a woman who is interested in helping to make a family’s dreams come true, please review our guidelines and contact us when you’re ready to move forward. If you’re a person who is interested in growing your family, please contact us today to get started.

January 6, 2017

Latest Stats Say More Dads are Looking for Surrogates

Society’s views on what makes a family a family are rapidly changing. In the past several years, there has been a major shift with men opting to be dads; both as a single father and with a significant other. And, while gay couples have always formed family units, real numbers have historically been difficult to come by due to underreporting. Thankfully, the legalization of gay marriage now allows these relationships and family units to be officially recognized, and with this, greater numbers of men are choosing to become fathers as well, with the help of surrogates.

Society Has Come Far

While it’s still difficult to identify how much of an increase is occurring, surrogacy agencies and fertility clinics are all reporting the same thing: more gay men are becoming dads. In a recent Detroit News report, assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, Dr. Eve Feinberg confirmed the upswing. “As gay marriage has become legal, I think it’s become much more socially acceptable for men to pursue fertility treatments and have babies.” Whereas gay men have previously wanted to start families of their own, troublesome regulations and discrimination still stood as barriers. Some states would recognize a single man’s right to adopt, but agencies would shy away from assisting men when they knew of their sexual orientation. Even being aware of the discrimination was enough to prevent many hopeful fathers from pursuing their dreams.

We Still Have Room to Grow

The increase in gay men seeking surrogates is bittersweet. On the one hand, it demonstrates what we’ve known all along; men are genuine nurturers and make highly-capable fathers, no matter what their orientation is. However, the increase is also bringing to light just how far behind some states are in terms of protecting the rights of dads. For example, one couple highlighted in the Detroit News article says their first surrogate changed her mind after finding out that her church would not support her surrogacy because the men were gay. California, however, is a wonderfully progressive state that not only recognizes the rights of gay men to parent, but has enacted specific legislation to protect families from the lacking laws of other states. Given time, the rest of the country will hopefully catch on and adopt laws similar to California’s. In the meantime, it’s clear that surrogates are playing an integral role in the path to fatherhood for many men, and it’s a trend that’s expected to grow.

Surrogates Can Help You Grow Your Family

If you’ve been considering growing your family with the help of surrogates, you owe it to yourself to learn your options and find out how California laws will protect your rights. SPS is a comprehensive surrogacy agency that supports intended parents and surrogates through the process and ensures the journey is smooth for all. For more information about the services we provide, contact us today.

December 28, 2016

How to Prepare to Meet Your Surrogate Match

When you work with a reputable surrogacy agency like SPS, a great deal of time is devoted to matching up intended parents with gestational surrogates based on a myriad of factors, like lifestyle, personality, and values. Most of our matching process actually takes place behind the scenes, as we speak with a lot of potential surrogates, often only a select few make it through our initial intake, interview, and psychological evaluation. And, even after a woman meets all the criteria to ensure she can have a healthy and safe pregnancy, we still create profiles of each one and spend time working out who would be the best parental match for this qualified surrogate. Despite all this, the day you meet the surrogate we’ve matched you with can feel monumental, especially if you’ve waited a while, and you’re sure to want to get to know her to make sure she’s the one. Here are a few tips to keep in mind on the big day.

1) Relax!

Meeting your surrogate shouldn’t be stressful for anyone and nothing gets decided during the meeting. It’s only a chance for you to get to know each other. You’ll have time after the meeting to think things over and decide if you’re ready to go forward.

2) Think of Open-Ended Questions

The day you meet should be a friendly discussion, not an inquisition. You can, and should, think of some questions in advance that will help you get to know her better, but try to keep it on the lighter side. Some people liken it to a “first date.” You don’t need to woo her- she’s there because she already wants to be on your team, but lighthearted conversations are generally best. Remember, she’s already been through our intake process and a psychological evaluation before you meet and she’ll get a comprehensive exam from your physician before an arrangement is made, so those bases are covered. For ideas on topics you may want to discuss, check out our previous blog, “5 Simple Yet Revealing Questions to Ask Your Surrogate.”

3) Be Present and Mindful

Make sure your schedule is clear and that you can be free from distraction for the meeting. Most intended parents are really excited to get the ball rolling and this isn’t a problem, but the enthusiasm can also easily lead to exuberance- like Tigger has.

Are You Ready to Meet Your Surrogate Match?

At SPS, we do our best to see to all the details, so intended parents and surrogates have the support they need to make the journey a smooth one. This means that the day you meet the surrogate we’ve matched with you is likely to feel more like a happy reunion – or old friends meeting up – than anything else. In fact, we’ve helped bring hundreds of babies into the world and our matches often form lifelong bonds as a result of this process. If you’re considering starting the journey, but want to make sure your needs are seen to, contact us today.