No two people are exactly alike, which is why we work so hard make good pairings of intended parents and surrogates. Each party is hoping to find a unique set of attributes, and when those come into alignment between a pairing, it’s a beautiful thing. With that said, there are some personality traits that are necessary for all surrogates to have. Here’s a look at the top three.
A positive outlook is paramount throughout the surrogacy journey. Not only does aid in bonding between surrogates and intended parents, but it makes also the process much easier. Harvard Medical School put together a fantastic publication on the medical benefits of optimism. Studies have shown that positive people live longer, can stave off infections, have improved cardiovascular health, and may even heal better after surgeries. If it can do all that, imagine what a sunny disposition can do during pregnancy. Although nobody is perpetually optimistic, those who tend to roll with things and expect the best tend to do well as surrogates.
One of the key traits is generosity. Even though we look for people who genuinely love being pregnant, it’s still a very selfless thing to nurture a new life for someone else. There’s more involved than simply carrying a baby, and it will require dedication on the surrogate’s part. People with big hearts, who understand what they’re doing and put their whole selves into the process are very special indeed.
- Patience and Understanding
There will be times on the surrogacy journey where it feels like a game of “hurry up and wait.” It takes time to complete the preliminary steps, and there will be lots of waiting. There’ll be waiting for results, waiting for milestones, and waiting for exams. Patience and respect for the process are essential. It takes time to create a life and to grow a baby! Both patience and understanding will go hand in hand as a relationship is built with the intended parents as well. They may want to be at all the appointments and coordinate schedules, which at times may feel demanding, but it’s quite likely that they’d move heaven and earth to carry the baby themselves. This also means that the joy of watching ultrasounds and feeling kicks may be marred with pangs of sorrow because they can’t experience it firsthand. Amazing surrogates understand this and are compassionate.
Surrogates are part of a team, so they’re never alone in the journey. SPS supports, protects and guides them every step of the way. The intended parents are also generally very supportive, and a strong bond often forms. Sometimes this friendship carries on years after delivery, but regardless, a surrogate always holds a special place in the parents’ hearts. With that said, it does take a positive, patient, and generous woman to fill this important role, which is why these traits are arguably the most important ones agencies look for. If these traits describe you, you’ll likely make a wonderful surrogate.