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February 2, 2018

How to Support Your Loved One During Surrogacy

If you have a friend, family member, or loved one going through the surrogacy process, your support is crucial during this time. Because many people do not truly understand the intricacies of surrogacy, it can be hard to know how to be there for your loved one in a way that really counts. Whether you know someone who is becoming a surrogate for the first time or intended parents starting to build their family, here are some tips that can help you be the best support you can be.

Respect Their Decision

Though it may seem obvious, respecting your loved one’s decision to pursue surrogacy is the best way to be supportive. You can make this clear by validating their choices and celebrating the process as you would celebrate any new pregnancy announcement. Avoid asking questions that may seem as if you’re trying to talk them out of surrogacy. Chances are they have already explored other options and are making an educated decision. Especially for intended parents, the choice to use a surrogate may be a sensitive topic if there have been prior struggles with infertility or other health complications. When they make the announcement, it’s best to simply celebrate their choice and assure them that they have your support.

Lend an Ear

During the surrogacy process, your loved ones will likely have a team of support that could include a surrogate agency, health care providers, or support groups. Even so, they will appreciate having a close friend to vent to that’s not as involved in the surrogacy process. As an outside perspective, you may not have answers to their questions, but your willingness to listen will make a difference.

Deflect Questions from Strangers

A great way to help your loved one have a smooth and enjoyable surrogacy is to act as a shield from intrusive questions from others. If they request you as such, they will appreciate your ability to answer politely to the potential stream of questions or comments pouring in from neighbors or even complete strangers. For surrogate mothers especially, there are many scenarios in which they may feel uncomfortable explaining their situation to nosy inquisitors. Your support in deflecting these questions can alleviate a lot of stress. If you know intended parents using a surrogate to carry their child, you can be especially helpful as they bring their child home to help them keep their privacy. In such a sensitive time, something small like fielding calls or visits for your loved ones can help them transition easily out of the surrogacy journey and into their next chapter.

Learn More About Surrogacy with SPS

If you or someone you know is looking to start their family with surrogacy, start by contacting Surrogate Parenting Services. Our experienced mentors are passionate about helping surrogates and intended parents have the best surrogacy journey possible. For more information, contact SPS at (949) 397-6855 today.