At SPS, we know that surrogacy is more than a physical journey; it’s an emotional one, too. That’s why mental health support has always been a cornerstone of the care we provide to both surrogates and intended parents.

From the very beginning—starting at the match meeting and continuing through postpartum—our licensed mental health professionals are there to support your well-being. 

Whether you’re navigating typical emotional ups and downs or facing a more difficult situation, you don’t have to search for help or explain your story from scratch. 

Your mental health professional already knows you, understands your unique story, and is ready to step in with care and clarity.

Our monthly support group meetings for surrogates, led by your mental health professional, also give you the opportunity to connect with fellow surrogates—who understand what you’re experiencing and can offer encouragement, insight, and community.

We asked our trusted mental health professionals—Ellen Speyer, LMFT, and Myrysha Rosa, LCSW—to share why this kind of ongoing, personalized support is so essential during a surrogacy journey. 

With more than 35 years of combined experience, Ellen and Myrysha have supported hundreds of surrogates and intended parents through every stage of the journey, and bring deep insight into the emotional side of this unique path to parenthood.

Ellen’s response:

I feel the support we lend for the wide range of emotions that individuals, couples and surrogates experience from the first phone call they place through the entire process and way beyond the intended parents are able to finally take home their baby is so vital.

The legal, financial and physical commitments are of big proportions in surrogacy! Emotional support and a place to work through all of the concerns, I think, makes all the difference in the goal of a successful surrogacy experience.

The choice to pursue a surrogate pregnancy brings a very wide range of emotional feelings.

Anxiety is most likely the strongest feeling that the intended parents will be aware of…at least until the baby is safely viable and safely delivered. There are so many physical, emotional and financial demands to create the pregnancy and ensure a safe pregnancy and delivery.

The surrogate faces a range of medical procedures and scrutiny that is most likely new to her and her family.  Getting pregnant and raising her own family has typically been safe and predictable.  

We know that women who have had smooth pregnancies are most likely to apply to be a gestational carrier expecting this pregnancy to go smoothly as well. Unfortunately, this hoped-for pregnancy does not always progress smoothly. It can be very distressing when the pregnancy is not easily obtained and multiple cycles may end without a pregnancy or possibly experience a miscarriage or a failure to thrive. 

Having a therapist experienced and available to the intended parents as well as the surrogate is invaluable both for healing and for planning their future decisions to create their longed for family. 

The therapist can help the intended parents navigate the sometimes very high levels and wide ranges of emotions.  

Communication between the intended parent(s) and the surrogate is a major part of the role that the therapist and the case manager will jointly manage. 

When communication within their relationship has stalled or broken down, their trained therapist will be available, working alongside the case manager, if available, to help unravel the concerns and expectations of the other to stabilize the relationship. 

Understanding the concerns, the expectations and possibly the disappointments that the other is feeling is vital to problem solve the breakdown and restore a team relationship where each the intended parents and the surrogate feel recognized and acknowledged for the challenges that are part of their own personal experience.

It has been my honor and privilege to be part of such an amazing agency as SPS and share the journeys with them for those who choose to build their family through surrogacy.

Myrysha’s response:

Surrogacy provides a beautiful opportunity for couples to build and grow their families. Hope and excitement during a surrogacy journey can be mixed with other feelings. Mental health support is important for surrogates and intended parents to ensure healthy coping throughout their surrogacy journey.

While a typical pregnancy journey can bring ups and downs, a surrogacy journey can bring a number of potential added challenges. Grief from past losses, uncertainty and anticipation about the future, and navigating new and non-conventional relationships can be common experiences. Both surrogates and intended parents may also encounter feelings of isolation as they go through a unique and special experience that those closest to them may be unable to relate to.

It is important for surrogates and intended parents to tend to their overall wellness, including their mental health. Doing so allows one to think clearly, make sound decisions, cope in healthy ways, and maintain meaningful connections with others. Of the many ways for surrogates and intended parents to support their mental health, connecting with others is highly encouraged. Doing so helps buffer stress, process thoughts and feelings, get validation, and enhance emotional support. Connecting with others who have had similar life experiences can reduce isolation and provide encouragement when facing new and remarkable experiences such as a surrogacy journey.

Mental health support isn’t just a helpful resource. It’s a key part of feeling truly supported, prepared, and cared for throughout your surrogacy journey.

At SPS, our mental health professionals have been a trusted part of the team since the very beginning. Their insight and compassion help surrogates and intended parents feel understood, connected, and ready for whatever this incredible experience brings.