While every surrogacy journey is unique, there are certain lessons that come up again and again when you talk to people who have been through the process.

Some lessons are practical—like how long the journey can take and the importance of having a strong support system. Others are more personal, such as the relationships you’ll build and the emotions you may experience along the way.

We asked former surrogates to reflect on what surprised them most about their journeys and what they wish they had known when they were first starting out. Here’s what they shared.

The process takes longer than most people expect

One of the biggest surprises for first-time surrogates is how much of the journey happens before pregnancy.

There is the application process, medical record reviews, matching, legal contracts, fertility appointments, and transfer preparation—all before a positive pregnancy test.

Then, of course, there is the pregnancy itself, followed by delivery and recovery.

Surrogacy is an incredible experience, but it also requires a meaningful commitment of time and energy. That’s why it’s important to consider your schedule, responsibilities, and support system before moving forward. (You can find out more about the process here.)

The hormone shots aren’t as scary as you think 

Many surrogates tell us they’re nervous about the hormone injections before starting their journey. It’s completely understandable—but it’s also one of the concerns that tends to fade the quickest.

In fact, after their first injection, one of the most common things our case managers hear is, “That was not as bad as I thought it would be!” or even, “That was it?!”

While the injections may feel intimidating at first, they quickly become just another part of the process. And when you see the joy on the intended parents’ faces as they meet their baby for the first time, many surrogates say those early nerves feel completely worth it. 

The matching process is worth taking seriously

Many surrogates say that finding the right match made all the difference in their journey.

Intended parents and surrogates who not only get along professionally but on a deeper, more personal level tend to have even more rewarding experiences throughout the surrogacy process.

At SPS, we don’t offer an online database of surrogates for intended parents to scroll through. We feel the matching process should be much more personal. Our goal is to create a bond and trust between surrogates and intended parents to make the experience as rewarding as possible.

One huge benefit of a thoughtful match is the opportunity to build a lasting relationship. Many surrogates remain close to their intended parents long after the child is born because they bonded so deeply over their shared experience. (Learn more about the SPS matching process here.)

Having a strong support system makes a huge difference

One thing experienced surrogates often emphasize is the importance of having a strong support system. The right people can provide encouragement, perspective, and practical help when you need it most.

That’s why we encourage prospective surrogates to think carefully about who they can lean on throughout the process. Whether it’s a partner who attends appointments with you, a friend who helps with childcare, or a family member who simply listens when you need to talk, support can come in many forms.

Most surrogates are naturally generous people and are often hesitant to ask for help. But having a support system in place means you’ll always have people ready to support you along the way. 

Other surrogates understand your experience in a way few people can

While friends and family can provide incredible support, there are certain aspects of surrogacy that only another surrogate can truly understand.

This is one of the reasons our surrogates attend monthly support meetings with other women in the program, led by a licensed mental health professional who specializes in third-party pregnancy. 

These meetings help surrogates navigate the emotional ups and downs of the process while building meaningful connections with others who are on the same journey.

From celebrating milestones to sharing advice and encouragement, many surrogates find that the sense of community becomes one of the most valuable parts of their experience. (Learn more about SPS’s mental health support here.)

It’s normal to feel emotional after delivery

The end of a surrogacy journey can bring a wide range of emotions. Along with the excitement of seeing the intended parents meet their baby, many surrogates describe feeling proud, grateful, relieved, and reflective after delivery.

As former SPS surrogate Kelly shared:

“When you leave the hospital you will feel like Superwoman. You just helped give the gift of a baby to an amazing family. Your recovery will be the same as it was with your kids, but you will get more rest because you don’t have a baby keeping you up. Yes, it will be different leaving the hospital without a baby, but knowing what you have just done will make up for that.”

Every experience is different, but whatever you’re feeling, it’s important to give yourself space to process and celebrate everything you’ve accomplished.

Many surrogates end up wanting to do it again

For some women, one journey is enough. For others, the experience is so rewarding that they decide to do it again.

In fact, over half of our surrogates choose to do another journey with SPS. We’ve even had surrogates complete three and four journeys with us!

Former SPS surrogate Ashley shared:

“The delivery is why I did my second journey (and the following ones). Seeing the parents have the babies they’ve been dreaming of, that they never thought they would have, the happiness and joy of it all. That’s why I instantly wanted to do another one. Even my husband said, while driving home from the hospital after my first journey, ‘Let’s do that again!'”

Former surrogate Katie agreed:

“The amazing feeling that you get after the journey is over, knowing what you have done for these parents and how their lives have changed so much by being able to be parents. It is an incredible feeling, why wouldn’t you do it again?”

While every surrogate’s path is different, many say the joy of helping create a family is what inspires them to come back for another journey.

The experience is more meaningful than you imagined

No matter how much research you do beforehand, it’s difficult to fully understand the impact of surrogacy until you’ve experienced it yourself.

Throughout the journey, you’ll invest your time, energy, and heart into helping another family grow. You’ll celebrate milestones, build meaningful relationships, and be part of a family’s story in a very special way.

Former SPS surrogates often describe their journeys as some of the most rewarding experiences of their lives:

• “My journey was everything I expected and more!! Best agency, best experience of my life.” — Tiffany G. 
• “Experience of a lifetime for me!” — Jaime W. 
• “The best part of my journey is how we started as a contract and ended up a family!” — Heatherlyn

For many surrogates, it’s those relationships—and the opportunity to help create a family—that leave the biggest impact long after the journey is over.

Learn More About Becoming a Surrogate with Surrogate Parenting Services 

Surrogate Parenting Services is proud to celebrate over 35 years of helping to bring dreams to life! Founded in 1990, Surrogate Parenting Services (SPS) is a full-service surrogacy agency that offers both parties an exceptionally supportive environment throughout the surrogacy relationship. We’re passionate about creating ideal matches between surrogates and intended parents, so the journey is fulfilling for both sides and the future child is brought into this world in the best possible circumstances.   

Learn more about our Surrogacy Program online or by calling 949-363-9525.